"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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