I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
