I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize