you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All the doctor said was why
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
