Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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