If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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