apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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