after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
