hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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