Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
