we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
