is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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