come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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