yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
