her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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