OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
my poor anus
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
