i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
