We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
