This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize