i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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