Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
