i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
