i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
