If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
