I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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