you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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