also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
