I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
