im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone signed my nipple.
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