U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You've changed since you got that strap on
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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