walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
