i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
