i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
