I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
