You just made me feel so damn special
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
