Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
