Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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