Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
