I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
