Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
