you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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