We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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