i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think my vagina is haunted
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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