Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
