i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
