Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
