Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
