What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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