I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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