You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
