It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
