Ambien. No doubt about it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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