we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
