So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
