So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
