how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
