Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
